Home Sweet Home

I was reading one of my favorite blogs on race tonight and came across this post. It really spoke to me as I have felt that I am not a stereotypical American-as-Ambassador on this trip. Due to the proximity of Haiti to the US and the information superhighway, there are many American pop culture references that are quite visible in P-au-P. Although I am a self-professed television and pop culture junkie, there are many other "American" indulgences of which I do not engage.

As my time in Haiti is coming to an end, I have had many thoughts occupying my mind. I feel that we have done good here, but really only a small band-aid (like one of those little round ones) on a huge wound. Haiti is an amazing place and I will return a much better and more heartbroken person for having spent time here. But I have been embarrassed by the antics of my teammates and it has been incredibly difficult for me to reconcile the good I've done with the isolation I have felt every day that I have been here. But I did not come to make friends. It has been important for me to remember that I am only one person and cannot hope to even leave a small mark on Haiti. I am certainly taking more from Haiti than I could ever even imagine giving back. Isn't that what most humanitarian work is about though? Although we can reap the praise from our friends and family about what good work we are doing, it's more than that isn't it? I have learned a lot about compassion and the resiliency of the human spirit in the face of insurmountable odds. I have experienced a glimmer of a rich and powerful culture.

I have also learned that, even though my teammates and I have come for similar work, we are vastly different. I have heard snide comments come from my teammates that make me question why they even wanted to come to Haiti. I have seen a complete disregard for the Haitian people through the displays of American arrogance and ego. And I have heard several of my teammates discuss how they would "solve" Haiti's problems if they were in charge. We do not come here to fix Haiti. We come here to learn from Haiti, empower Haitians through partnership, and hopefully return to the US better and changed people. Although I am a new social worker, barely 8 months out, Haiti has given me a new appreciation for the work that I do, in a way, maybe our time in Haiti helps to "fix" us.

Enough with the soapbox. Here are a few shots of one of my favorite things about Haiti, tap-taps:







Notice the little goat perched atop this tap-tap:

Jacmel and Carnival

We left early Friday morning to get to Jacmel. Most of us were still fairly tired from the night before so the bus trip was a nice time for a nap. What I did see of the countryside was pretty, in a deforested kind of way. It was a very winding and curvy road. I was thankful to get a motion sickness patch from one of the nurses so I didn't vomit all over the bus. That might have put a damper on the trip.

Jacmel is a much much more mellow city than P-au-P. There was less trash in the streets and less people. When we got into the city we went straight to the place our pediatric outreach clinic would be and 6 (2 MD, 2 RN, and 2 support) set up shop. We stayed busy from 10-4pm, with only a 10 min break towards the end. Most of the children were fairly healthy. The only big problem we saw was a 2 year old with a 3 degree burn on her belly from boiling water splashing on her. Tim did a debridement and that little girl was a champ! I'm told with that type of burn since the nerves are damaged you can't really feel anything, but I know if I was on that table with Tim scraping away, I would be yelling my face off. I think the lollipop we gave her was a poor prize.

Still a Blazers fan, even in Jacmel:


After we got picked up we needed to wait for the other half of the team to come back from their rural outreach. The driver, Poeshaun and our tour guide, Bob (not his real name) took us to a hotel where they had french fries! Are you kidding me? French fries! They were amazing to say the least. If you know of my fry addiction then you know going over a week without fries was like torture.

We made it to our hotel, Hotel Cyvadier, and it was really very beautiful. Plus, air conditioning, a pool, and restaurant. Again, I felt a little like an ass for being treated so well by the Haitian staff. The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. The next day, Saturday, Bob took us around Jacmel. I have a feeling that Bob took us to places where he knew people so that we could spend money in their stores. Most of the group bought some souvenirs, I bought a $5 carved walking stick. You know, for all that walking I do. He took us through the market where Haitians come to buy food and other sundries. It was an experience that I cannot do justice by explanation alone. We got pushed and shoved, we walked through open sewage right next to stands with meat and fish, there was a lot of yelling (not in a bad way), and people giving us all strange looks. I liken it to being in the mercado in Juarez, only 100 times more people, more smells, more loudness.

I saw this basketball net in the Plaza during our tour:


After the city tour we went to a little beach for a barbeque, again put on by Bob's friends. I'm getting really spoiled by the rice, beans and fried plantains that I have almost every meal. I'll be sad to have to leave that behind for sure. Maybe I can talk Ben into making the plantains for me sometime. We sat out on the beach for most of the afternoon and were serenaded by these children wearing costumes, I assume it was because carnival was the next day.


This was a cute kid with a homemade toy:


Most of the "domesticated" animals in Haiti aren't use to much contact, so they've runaway at most of my attempts to pet them. This little mama came right over to me. One of the highlights of my trip to Jacmel for sure:


Saturday night we were suppose to go see a preCarnival showing of the masks. I went begrudingly because I was excited to see the masks on parade. However, Bob took us to a bar owned by his friends and that was it. I was annoyed to say the least. It is not my idea of a good time to sit around while everyone drinks and yells and screams. I felt duped. Luckily we didn't stay long and left after about 90 minutes. What can I say? I'm turning into a grumpy old woman at 34 years old.

Sunday afternoon was very relaxing. A small group went for a hike, and the rest of us stayed behind at the hotel. I stayed by the pool, reading and listening to music. Considering that I will be back in cold and rainy Portland in a few days I wanted to get all the sun I could.

At around 630 we headed out to Carnival. Oh my lord. It was amazing and crowded and hot and sticky and loud. We had a fantastic time, but honestly I don't think there is a way to accurately describe it if you haven't been there. I feel like I say that about a lot of Haiti, but it really is true.

We parked at one end of Carnival, at the Plaza and then walked from the Plaza to our designated stand. Haitians spend the week prior to Carnival erecting these stands for people to dance on as the bands go by. We had to basically partner up with a buddy and walk/push our way in a line. Casey, one of the occupational therapists, had brought glo-bracelets for our group to wear so we could find one another more easily. It was a harrowing experience to get to the stand but once we did we had a great time.




We returned from Carnival fairly early, which I was glad for. Today, Monday, we ate breakfast and headed back to P-au-P. It took us 3 hours to get back to the guesthouse, but it was such a relief! Especially because we're having pizza for dinner. The only chain restaurant in P-au-P, and I'm assuming all of Haiti, is Domino's. Random, but I say bring it on.

Incommunicado

Saw RAM last night and they were fantastic! I'll post photos when I get back on Monday from Jacmel. We're leaving any minute now to get there for Carnival. On the way we're splitting up into two outreach clinics, I'll probably be with the pediatricians again as it is on lower ground and I don't think my stomach can handle a long, curvy road to the adult clinic.

I'll be unable to get the internet when we're in Jacmel, so I'll explain about my exploits when I return!

Photos from RAM:



I had a much better time than I anticipated. It was certainly crowded and I needed to stay in the spot I had picked out for the entire show for fear of losing it. Of course, I wasn't able to understand a word they were singing, but I was told by Gail that their lyrics have something to do with voudou and protest. When we did finally get up to leave I was definitely thankful for my aggressive streak. The outside air was a welcome relief.

Hope and Heartbreak

It seems as though everyday that I have been in Haiti is a mixture of hope and heartbreak. I see things that bring me to tears everyday and then I will witness the most amazing resiliency. Haiti is truly a complex place.

Today we visited the abandoned child ward in the General Hospital. The hospital has been around since the Civil War (US not Haiti) and doesn't seem to have had many improvements made to it. We walked through the different pediatric wards and saw many families and patients. They do not serve food at this hospital but everyday family members come with food for the patients, some staying all day long.

The saddest thing to witness was the abandoned child ward. It was filled with a mixture of newborns to around 13 year olds. Most of them had some sort of physical or mental disability and were left there by their parents. Gail said that there is an orphanage run by an ex-Playboy bunny from Colorado that is suppose to take the children but they often languish in the ward for over a year. Apparently the bunny is very good at fundraising, not so good at actually taking care of the children. I see an anonymous letter to her sometime in my future. If you could see the conditions of the ward (and photos do not do it justice) you would be mortified.

One little baby weighed maybe 3 pounds. He was the most malnourished and dehydrated little peanut of a baby. Honestly, he didn't even look like a baby at all. His skin hung off of him. We asked if he had a bottle and I was allowed to feed him, which he eagerly gulped down. It is a mystery to me why this child's condition reached this extreme when there were caregivers in the ward and other children who were getting IV fluids. If I could have brought him home with me without repercussions (like jail) I would have put him in my bag. Seriously, I did want to take that baby and run. It was horrifying.

Most of the other children were also malnourished, only 2 of them looked "healthy" and well fed, but were by no means being well cared for. I understand that this must be difficult work, but when we walked in everyone was sitting around listening to the radio (ironically enough it was playing Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World"). There were no toys out for the babies and when asked the staff said they were being cleaned, there was also a cabinet full of clean clothes but the kids were in filthy ones. I know, I know...I shouldn't judge. But this baby...




Will haunt me forever.

This afternoon we went to St. Joseph's for their dance troupe. All of the kids in the home were taken from the streets and are now in school, they make art to sell, have an a capella group and have toured all over the world. They really are a shining example of what the human spirit is capable of no matter what the circumstances.

Their dancing tells many stories. One story is about a boy named Soni who has cerebral palsy. The director of St. Joseph's and some of the boys met Soni in an orphanage, basically confined to his bed. He came to St. Joseph's and not only walks but dances in the troupe, telling his tale. The boys also danced the story of Bookman, the first slave to sound the alarm (by blowing a conch shell as the story goes) for the slaves to begin their successful revolt.

Here are some photos of the boys in action:

Why I Came...

Sometimes it's all you need:


Today was a fantastic day! Although the two girls in my group that are way too into partying came home at around 4am and thought nothing of screaming and yelling and waking everyone up in the house (seriously, one of them hasn't been able to remember the last three nights in a row), I actually did manage to get some sleep.

Our breakfasts have been fantastic! We generally have fresh fruit and fresh juice, toast and one other item (hot rice cereal, pancakes, etc.) Today 3 of the nurses were teaching stroke and neuroscience to 38 nursing students at a conference. The rest of the team was at the clinic. Sheree, the other social worker, and I went to St. Germaine Rehab Center to teach parents and staff play and art therapy.

The facility was gorgeous! It is brand new, opened in December, and is on a huge plot of land in a more rural (suburban) area of Port-au-Prince. There were several classrooms, rooms for art, play and speech therapy. They had a pool for physical therapy and eating areas for families and children. The coordinator of the center, Gina, is originally from Ireland and has been here for 16 years. Apparently, 16 years ago she came to Haiti on a similar trip as mine and decided that she needed to return. She typically lives in the mountains at an orphanage that has 450 children (!!!). She speaks flawless Kreyol and I can tell she really has a passion for the work she does.

Gina introduced Sheree and I to the parents who listened while we explained each type of project we brought for them. We didn't know when we were making our plans to come here that we would be teaching the parents as well as the staff so many of our games did not translate well to a home environment simply because they wouldn't have access to the things that were needed for the games. But they did enjoy playing with the big parachute I made. The staff was really open to all the teaching we did and said how grateful they were that we came to work with them. Afterwards we got to play with the kids which is really what it was all about.

Art therapy with the kids at St. Germaine:



Roseda, one of the students at St. Germaine on a bike donated by Healing Hands:


After we got picked up we had to battle Haitian traffic to get back to the guesthouse. I will never complain about traffic in the States ever again! You have no idea how hot you can get in a regular sized van with 17 people and 3 big suitcase, no air conditioner, stuck on Avenue John Brown only a block away from your guesthouse.

Tomorrow we are going to the Haitian Wal-Mart, which basically means we can buy cheap souvenirs there and then we will be touring 2 hospitals. Hopefully we can go to St. Joseph's in the afternoon. It's a boy's home where the boys have learned to dance and they put on shows. We were suppose to go last Thursday but their generator wasn't working so they had to cancel the performance. After St. Joseph's we're going to listen to RAM, one of the most popular Haitian bands. As a non-partyer I will have to try to keep up with the group I'll be with. RAM doesn't usually come on-stage until 11:30-12 at night so I will have a long day ahead of me!

Part of our team with the translators from today:

Exhausted

Yesterday I was too exhausted to blog about the day so I thought I'd get it going this morning while waiting for our transportation to take us to the rehab center.

We thought we were going to have to be ready early so everyone was prepared to leave at 8am. As is typical in Haiti (and Hawaii and New Mexico) there is a difference when it comes to timeframes and we actually didn't get going until 9:30. Although the big hold up was getting to meet the new director of Healing Hands, Mr. Kaypu. All of the staff and Team Portland came together in the conference room to meet the new director. Both he and Dr. No (yes that is really his name, not sure of the spelling however) spoke with us about how they are happy to have Team Portland come from so far away and do good work without our everyday comforts. After a couple of the days I've had here, it was great to hear some positivity.

Most of the team went to the outreach clinic yesterday. It was called Del Mas 75, I think it's the street and number we were at. We set up 5 doctors in a church. Basically the patients sat in the congregation and we were in the front, 5 stations for over 150 patients. I was with Tim, a pediatrician and Harold, our translator. I prepared medicine, took the patient's temperature and did the "charting" which is nothing like charting in the US.

I had hoped to finish this entry in the morning but Sheree and I needed to prepare for our therapy presentation so I'm picking up after we got back from our teaching day.

The children we saw were fairly healthy, comparatively speaking. We treated many for worms and scabies. I asked Gabe if she recommended that I treat myself for worms and scabies before I go home, she said only if I'm itchy. Of course I started itching right after she said that. I'm covered in mosquito bites, how m I suppose to distinguish an itch? Anyway, our day at Del Mas 75 was very long. We worked from 10-4 without snack or bathroom breaks and Tim and I ended up seeing 42 patients. An exhausting day to say the least!

Last night, after dinner and our team meeting, Cadet(the former director of Healing Hands) took about 8 of us out to drive around the area preparing for Carnival. The streets were teaming with people and alive with music around every corner. Apparently, Haitians gear up for Carnival for many days prior. We can hear the rah-rah bands from our guesthouse some evenings. We drove down by the main square, where we took pictures of Plaza National the Saturday after we arrived. We got out of the van and Cadet took us walking through the square. We definitely drew some stares from the locals as we walked through. We stopped to chat with one of Cadet's friends and a crowd formed around us with men staring and listening in on our conversations, regardless of being able to understand them. Several children came up to us, first begging, then just standing near us or following us. Gabe and I had snacks in our bags and were tempted to offer them to the kids, but just as we were heading back to the van, an older, larger child came up the kids following us and started bossing them around. Gabe and I figured anything we gave to the younger kids would be taken by the older one.

It got a little tense when we were waiting for Cadet to return to the van as some men came to the windows and began banging on them and yelling at us. The older child also became assertive as he reached into the window, demanding money. Cadet came back and we drove away without further incident.

I have not felt unsafe in Haiti. Although I know it would not be a good idea for me to venture out on my own, I have gone with just two others into the grocery store and we walked around in the night time and I have not felt threatened at all. I do feel stared at and it's only natural as we are almost always the only white people in the area.


A word on postcards: I was very excited to send friends and family postcards, I even made labels with all of the addresses. On my second day here, however, Gail laughed at me when I asked about a post office. Apparently, there is a post office in Haiti, but I would never be able to send postcards to the states from here. Haitians receive packages through DHL and money through Western Union. So if I promised you a postcard, I apologize, but it's beyond my control!

The Saddest Day

Today started out fairly abysmal, moved to bad and then picked up when I returned home.

After breakfast, Madame Justine came to the guesthouse to tell us that the grandmother of the 6 day old was at the clinic and was requesting to see me so she could give me the baby. I'm not sure if the staff at the clinic led her to believe that I was interested in taking the baby but I think that it was hard for them to understand that there is a long process involved in adopting from Haiti and you can't just take a child on a whim. Madame Justine asked me to come tell the grandmother that I was not taking the baby. It was heartbreaking, to put it mildly, as the grandmother was imploring me to take her. As someone who wants to adopt and knows how dire the situation for orphans is in Haiti, I was devastated to tell her (through the translator) no.

I then went with half of the team to Rainbow of Love orphanage. The orphanage has a ward for disabled children and adults. There were about 27 residents there. Most of them were wheelchair bound, two of them were just laying on mattresses, and a few were laying or sitting on a matt on the floor. I believe the major diagnosis was cerebral palsy.




When we arrived the children in wheelchairs were sitting in a circle, no one was interacting with them at all. One girl, Esperance, who has hydrocephalus, was laying on a mattress and I went over to her and sat with her and held her hand. She was not communicative, but she did look at me and hopefully she knew I was trying to reassure her.

This is Pierre. He loved the camera and was really excited to see himself after pictures. The staff said he is really shy, but I had no problems getting him to interact with me.


I came there as support for the rehab team. While they were making adjustments or doing complete overhauls to the resident's wheelchairs I would hold the children. I was also able to sit with a couple of toddlers on the matt while they were positioned on their stomachs so that they could practice lifting their heads up. I know that the staff there is doing the best that they can, but it is sad to see children with pressure ulcers on the back of their heads because they just lay on their backs all day. Most of the residents had contractures and it was hard to see them unable to straighten out their legs and arms. The therapists were able to work with many of the residents, but some of the older ones were only able to have their chairs fixed with foam padding up so that their skin wasn't coming into contact with metal.

Baby Moises loved being held and cried whenever someone tried to put him down. Here he is with Gail, our team leader.


There were a couple of girls, Sensia and Alanda, who were able to walk and tomorrow the therapists are going to return to the orphanage and give them walkers and braces to help with their gait. Here are Sensia and then Alanda.




They will also begin caregiver training in the hopes that the nannies will be able to understand the positioning, proper feeding techniques and why these are important. I believe they have had 3 residents die within the last year of possible aspiration pneumonia, which could be avoided if the residents have their heads positioned correctly while they are being fed.

After we got home I found out some great news about the baby. Gabe, one of the doctors on our team, went to the clinic today and the baby was taken back to the clinic to see her as the grandmother said she had a cold. Gabe said that the baby returned with her aunt and uncle and that they told her they would be taking care of the baby and had no idea why the grandmother was trying to give her away. Our suspicion was that there is still a lot of superstition surrounding special needs children and that possibly the grandmother wanted to draw away bad spirits from the family. Regardless, the baby has a home and that news greatly lifted my spirits.

A hard day with a semihappy ending. Tomorrow almost all of the team will be traveling to an outreach clinic where we expect to see 200 patients. I'm sure I will have plenty to talk about as the team that went to outreach today told us tales of the interesting maladies they saw.

Half and Half

Our day started out fairly rough. I ended staying up until 2:30am and we woke up fairly early to head to COBBA and Indigo Beach. COBBA is the Christian based orphanage that one of our translators, Jide, helps to run. It took us a very bumpy, hour long ride to get there. Some of the streets on the way were paved, but had huge potholes, some of the roads were gravel and kicked up a lot of dust as we drove along.

Here's a photo of what a typical street looked like on our journey.


We finally arrived at COBBA and the kids serenaded us with a Kreyol version of "If you're happy and you know it" but instead it was "If you're happy that the missionaries are here...". Then they sang a song that the translators helped interpret. Hoping to post it on here so you can listen. The gist of the song was even though they don't have parents they are thanking God because he has sent them us as their helpers. It was a very sweet song, made even sweeter by the children and the staff. After the songs the children and staff came to greet us with kisses and hellos.

We brought toys, clothes, diapers and hygiene products to them. It was exciting to be able to distribute the toys to the children and then play with them.

Here are a couple of pictures of the kids. They were very excited to see themselves in the pictures especially because my iPhone has the scroll function and they enjoyed scrolling through the photos.


This is Joanne. She was one of the older children who hung out with me at COBBA.


It was upsetting that after spending an hour with the children we headed down to Indigo Beach, which apparently use to be a Club Med. Although the children at the orphanage were in good health and the orphanage was in excellent condition it was obvious that the children wanted attention and never got enough. So I was very uncomfortable heading to a resort and would have been just as happy to stay and play with them all day long.

But the beach was lovely and I think I came back to the guesthouse with a sunburn.

A Haitian sailboat that came past while we were at the beach.

Our surprise for Valentine's Day

After we rested up and got ready to go out for our surprise, we found this tap-tap pulling into our driveway! Tap-taps are privately run transportation that the Haitians use to get around town. They are much like the jipneys in the Philippines. They are called tap-taps because you tap them to get on and off. It is apparently organized chaos, with stops and routes that are unidentifiable to me but are well known by the locals.



We were taken out by Ciril, a French Haitian that has lived in Port-au-Prince all his life and takes people on tours in and around the city (he's sitting directly behind me in the blue shirt). Our first stop was the Hotel Montana. You would never know that this place existed if you were not here. It sits overlooking the city and is guarded by UN military forces. It seems to be a bit of a waste of UN money to guard the people that come to Hotel Montana but I think it is done in the hopes that there are less kidnappings.

I felt very uncomfortable being at this hotel and riding around in the tap-tap. Because I came to Haiti to work and not party it is hard for me to relax and have what the rest of the group would consider to be a "good time." I feel like such a Debbie Downer as I am not a drinker and yelling and screaming as we ride along the city streets seems to be a bit obnoxious. Many of our team were yelling and dancing around as we drove through the city. I just hate the idea of 17 privileged white folks partying it up when this is the transportation that Haitians use on a daily basis. Am I being overly sensitive? Additionally, being at such a resort style hotel seemed incongruous to the work that we are doing here. Most of the team was getting drunk and I was getting frustrated. I try not to be a stick in the mud, but I can have a good time at home.

A great thing about the hotel was the amazing view...







After the stop at the Hotel Montana we took the tap-tap to an Italian restaurant that Gail said was the best in town. I had a spicy tomato sauce over fettuccine noodles. Afterwards the plan was to go to a club called Jet Set. 4 people requested to be taken back to the guesthouse. Can you guess which group I ended up in? I just pictured more of the same type of scene that was already frustrating (think: shooters at Senor Frogs in Cabo).

Tomorrow we're heading to Indigo Beach. First we're stopping at COBBA, an orphanage near the beach that has basically nothing. Jide, our translator from today and yesterday, helps to run COBBA and explained to me what they need there so I will be getting up and organizing the donations to take with us. Hopefully I will get to hang out with some kids and give COPPA much needed supplies.

Day in the city

We went into Port-au-Prince today. We were able to drive around a lot of the city and saw various sights and bought a little bit of art.


Here is a photo of our complete team in front of the Plaza National.














And this is Bookman, the slave who laid out the plan for the only successful slave revolt in the western hemisphere which happened in Haiti in 1791. It is interesting to see the dichotomy between the two backgrounds.


I saw a pig in a dumpster rooting around, 3 ridiculously skinny dogs eating food in the street and several goats. Strangely, I haven't seen any cats since I've been here although I hear they cooked some for the team last year. I was told that the cats generally come out in the evening but that since they are eaten in Haiti you don't usually see many of them roaming the streets as you would elsewhere.

It was a little obnoxious to have some group members take photos of people on the street without permission. I could tell the Haitians did not want their pictures taken when they were attempting to sell us stuff. Seems a little exploitative to me.

Tonight Gail has a "surprise" for us. We're going to an Italian restaurant which makes me a little apprehensive, other than that she will not tell us what the rest of the surprise is and is very coy when I ask questions about how we are getting to the surprise. I guess I'll have to fill you in later.

Just to tide you over...

Now that I know how to add photos I'll post a few for your viewing pleasure.

Us reorganizing all the donations to decide where we will be taking what. See anything that might have come from you?

The shanty town that is across the "river" from the property.

The Healing Hands for Haiti sign at the clinic.

My room. My bed is the one with the green mosquito net over it.